Lent is just around the corner. I know, what? Didn’t the Christmas decorations just come down? But in just a short time it will be the season of Lent in the church. Advent comes with it’s excitement of preparing for baby Jesus (and we all love babies!) and for Jesus to come again and the child-like giddiness of Christmas; Lent seems almost somber and disappointing in comparison but I have a fondness for Lent that is a more mature love than a child-like giddiness. To me, Lent is just the kind of quiet, reflective time that I need during this cold, winter-keeps-dragging-on time of year. We are spending these 40 days (46 counting the Sundays) reflecting on and gaining an understanding of the life and death of Jesus. In addition to understanding the life of this wonderful man, who is at once God and man, we use this time to strive to live more like him. We need this time to re-devout our lives to our goals of living like Jesus, with a deep trust and faith in God’s plan. That is what we are doing when we pick a Lenten Resolution. We aren’t just “giving up candy”, we are working towards a better version of ourselves that is more devoted to God, his church, his plan and his people especially those who really need our help. My sacrifice this year for Lent will be giving up potato chips. Now, even typing it, I feel silly because it seems petty but I really like potato chips, like, I even have a little anxiety writing it because it’s going to be really hard to do but that is the point of a sacrifice and also I know it will make a big impact on my giving because I buy chips on nearly every grocery shopping trip (okay, so obviously it’s more like an addiction, time to kick this). In addition to a sacrifice, I will also be adding a resolution to read my Bible everyday. Despite being raised by a devout Catholic and growing into one myself, I have never made time to just read the Bible and study it. I use the Bible often and read it for specific things and love exploring Scripture but I have never devoted time to read through an entire specific book and reflect on it. I think I will start with the Gospel of Matthew since it is my favorite Gospel and Lent is really a time to learn more about Jesus. And in continuing with my overall goal for simplicity...this is it. It may not seem like much on the outside but it will change me and will allow me to give to change others. What sacrifices are you making this Lenten season? How will these sacrifices change you in 46 days?
My word for 2016 is “simple”. My motto for 2016 is “finding joy in the ordinary”. And, just to put it out there, my prayer words are “ask and trust”. I’ve always struggled with spontaneous prayer. Of course, I’ve been able to recite the Our Father and Hail Mary since I was five but I’ve always had a hint of jealousy when a person can, especially in a group of people, call forth a prayer that is at once spiritual and practical. I always end up saying “ummm” a lot or tripping over my words that makes me, and I fear others, lose their focus on what we are really asking God for. When I pray to myself, just inside my head, I end up just doing something that sounds like begging which also bothers me because I feel like it makes me come off as ungrateful (which I am not, I’m so utterly grateful for all the amazing blessings God has given me) or just plain annoying (which I may be but I’m pretty sure God’s cool with that). But, as I get older, I’m trying hard to live with intention- specifically in my spiritual/religious life- and as I surround myself more with like-minded people and listen more to uplifting Christian music, I realize that, of course, God knows me better than I know myself because He is a good father and he sees me for who I am and for who I’m trying to grow to be and for who I am going to be and he is patient in my praying skills. He understands that it’s easier for me to have words flow from a pen than it is to have the words flow from my mouth. He understands that my prayers are often expressed better through songs than my own words. So, in keeping with my goals for 2016, when in prayer, I will keep it simple and find joy in even the most ordinary words I have to offer and I will have patience with myself when my asking looks more like begging and most importantly I will trust that what I ask for will be given to me in my time and in the way that I need the most that only God knows.
As I look at my three babies, one of whom is taking on new responsibilities like cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry, another who is developing a personality that is so her own it amazes me and yet another who is supposed to be a baby but is in actuality heading into toddlerhood so fast I wish I could stop time, I think about my love for them. This unstoppable, heart-aching, heart-breaking love that is so big and so full it’s almost painful at times. Love that seeps from every part of my being, it makes me laugh and cry, and it contains every emotion imaginable. Their hurt is my hurt and their joy becomes my joy and we are so interconnected that our moods and emotions seem to just swirl together and become one after only a few minutes together. If you are a parent, you understand what I mean when I try to describe that indescribable feeling; that feeling that even when you’ve had an awful day and everything those kids do drives you crazy, after five minutes of sleeping you miss them? I think of this feeling, this connection I have with these people who I grew for nine months and nourished for months following, and how good God is to allow us these feelings. This world, this place, is not our home. We know that. Home in Heaven with God is our home and yet, for a temporary stop, God makes this place pretty amazing for us. Not that we don’t struggle or lose our way or endure things we wish we didn’t have to but when we look at all that God gives us in this world which is just a temporary home - wow. So, today, my emotions are complicated but my prayer is simple. I just simply thank God for all that he gives us each day. For the beauty that is all around us and inside of us. Thank you God for the joy that is living and loving.
Oh, winter… nothing makes you want to take it slow like the beautiful chill of winter. Our Wisconsin winter got off to a weird start but we finally have a crusty blanket of icy snow that is covering the ground and a cold that requires you to bundle up. The Christmas decorations are all down, though I’ve left one set of white lights up in a wintry display on the fireplace, but my house itself has been a huge representation of my goals for my life in 2016. It has been cleaned and items have been ruthlessly purged, to the point that my husband walked into the house and asked if we were moving, but that’s what I want, that’s what my soul is begging me for; it’s what God is putting on my heart and asking me to do. To live a slow, simple life that doesn’t require a lot of material things to be happy and puts Him at the forefront, not just for me but for my whole family, especially my children who I am working hard to teach about living a life with simple love in their hearts. When I walk into my house now I feel relaxed not anxious about all the chores I have to do. And, I am not done yet, I am challenging myself to consistently work on creating a space that calms me. I realize I’ve been writing on the same topic for a few weeks now but when God speaks so clearly to you about your life it really is all you can think about and focus on - if you are willingly listening to Him. I don’t really know why God is calling me to do this; I just know He is and I’m happy doing it and maybe it’s that simple - happiness. Or maybe He is preparing me for something that is in my future; maybe He is helping me deal with feelings of jealousy or greed by helping me realize what is really important to me or maybe He is just helping me live a life that is more enjoyed and less stressed.
Are you enjoying the slow pace of winter? Are you allowing that slow pace to take hold in your heart this season? What is God telling you? |
Heather WA wife and mom working to live the life God intended for me. Archives
January 2016
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