7 years ago, I was about 22 weeks along with my first baby and despite working with children for 10 years before I became pregnant, I could never imagined then how challenging it would be. I know my mom had her struggles when we were kids but it never seemed like the actual “mom thing” was hard for her --she was simply the most kind and loving mom who only got frustrated ever so often (not true, I’m sure, but she did a great job of hiding it). But, oh my goodness, being a mom is so taxing! Don’t get me wrong; it is also so full of joy and love, but it is so hard! I know some people will be reading this and laughing, like, what did you think you were getting yourself into? And, people with teenagers are thinking I have no idea how hard parenting really is. All I really do know is that I always knew I wanted to be mom. It was never a choice for me to not be a mom. Having children was a desire that was always in my heart. It’s just….a lot sometimes. Every day is filled with the emotions of five different people (and one dog) who all live together in my small house. It is never quiet. There is always laughing, crying, whining, singing, screaming, fighting, pounding, barking (mostly from the dog but you never know)….. it’s a constant whirlwind of activity. I have one child who loves to argue. She is stubborn and strong-willed and most conversations are long and drawn-out, waiting for her to battle within herself and finally pick the right choice, but it usually comes with lots of outward emotions that almost always ends with tears and lots of apologies. I have another child who is a very free spirit, loves to use her imagination and is often acting out scenes from movies or books. She gets very involved in her play so much so that she ignores pretty much everything else around her including the rules and anybody trying to get her attention. Plus, I have a baby so there is babbling, some crying, occasional restless/sleepless nights and moments when all he wants to do is be held or nurse. These things are all really fine -- my children are who they are and I love them for it, but sometimes all these things happen at one time, usually while I’m trying to make dinner or keep the house from looking like a tornado came through (again) and it just wears a mama down some days.
And then, there is one time each week that I know is a guarantee for me to rejuvenate my soul -- Sunday morning Mass. Going to church is part of my job so I get to go alone most of the time and not only do I get to be in God’s house with my thoughts and my prayers but I get to sing. Singing is my passion particularly if I’m singing for the glory and praise of God. When I’m leading others into a deeper celebration of the mass; when I’m using my God-given talent to praise the Creator who gave it to me, that is when my heart finds peace, when my soul settles itself because it’s doing what it was made to do. We have many things put into our hearts that we must do, they all bring us joy, but some of those things are very challenging (parenthood) and some of them come with great ease (for me, singing) and we must do both to feel fully whole and rested. My point is God doesn’t give us the difficult, challenging thing without also giving us the easy, peaceful thing that balances us. Trust in God that he will always give you peace and balance….what do you have in your life that brings you joy (the challenging and the easy)?
And then, there is one time each week that I know is a guarantee for me to rejuvenate my soul -- Sunday morning Mass. Going to church is part of my job so I get to go alone most of the time and not only do I get to be in God’s house with my thoughts and my prayers but I get to sing. Singing is my passion particularly if I’m singing for the glory and praise of God. When I’m leading others into a deeper celebration of the mass; when I’m using my God-given talent to praise the Creator who gave it to me, that is when my heart finds peace, when my soul settles itself because it’s doing what it was made to do. We have many things put into our hearts that we must do, they all bring us joy, but some of those things are very challenging (parenthood) and some of them come with great ease (for me, singing) and we must do both to feel fully whole and rested. My point is God doesn’t give us the difficult, challenging thing without also giving us the easy, peaceful thing that balances us. Trust in God that he will always give you peace and balance….what do you have in your life that brings you joy (the challenging and the easy)?